It Was Him! Murderer (Chapter 1)
It was Deccember the 3rd and me and my father were alone in my house. We were watching X factor and suddenly the power went out. My father went to the fuse box in the kitchen. Whilst the power was off I was petrified of the darkness. I watched my dad go into the kitchen. A shadow emerged from the darkness and a knife plunged into his back…
He collapsed onto the floor. The killer broke the window and jumped into the backgarden. It was a man, he was wearing a green jacket and shades that covered half of his face. I ran after him however it was too late he had escaped and my dad was dead!
I dropped on to the floor sobbing my heart out over my fathers death. “It should have been me”, I said to myself. I wish I could go back in time and change everything, but I couldn’t it was too late. I looked at the glass that scattered across the tiled floor. I swept it all up and poured it in the bin. His body was still on the floor and blood was still oozing out of him. I knew what I had to do. I had to find the killer!




wow that was an amazing start to a story that will be fantastic.
wish: I think you could use a bigger range of punctuation.
star: The describing words were so good.
hannah and jessica
Wow, I’m hooked already! You have a fantastic combination of description and action that really makes me want ot know what will happen next.
I’m very glad I decided to have a look at Heathfield’s Y6 Blog today. Thank you for sharing your writing.