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January 26, 2012

It Was Him! Murderer (Chapter 1)

Filed under: Uncategorized @ 4:53 pm
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It was Deccember the 3rd and me and my father were alone in my house. We were watching X factor and suddenly the power went out. My father went to the fuse box in the kitchen. Whilst the power was off I was petrified of the darkness. I watched my dad go into the kitchen. A shadow emerged from the darkness and a knife plunged into his back…
He collapsed onto the floor. The killer broke the window and jumped into the backgarden. It was a man, he was wearing a green jacket and shades that covered half of his face. I ran after him  however it was too late he had escaped and my dad was dead!
I dropped on to the floor sobbing my heart out over my fathers death. “It should have been me”, I said to myself. I wish I could go back in time and change everything, but I couldn’t it was too late. I looked at the glass that scattered across the tiled floor. I swept it all up and poured it in the bin. His body was still on the floor and blood was still oozing out of him. I knew what I had to do. I had to find the killer!

2 Comments

  1.   hannah and jessica — February 22, 2012 @ 11:46 am    Reply

    wow that was an amazing start to a story that will be fantastic.

    wish: I think you could use a bigger range of punctuation.

    star: The describing words were so good.

    hannah and jessica

  2.   Miss Savory — January 31, 2012 @ 3:47 pm    Reply

    Wow, I’m hooked already! You have a fantastic combination of description and action that really makes me want ot know what will happen next.

    I’m very glad I decided to have a look at Heathfield’s Y6 Blog today. Thank you for sharing your writing.

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